f2PointEight

I once believed faith required certainty to survive. I am learning that honesty sustains it far better.

I recently found something I wrote almost twenty years ago. It is long, confident, and entirely sure of where history is headed. It speaks of cosmic wars, divine law, heavenly sanctuaries, and a God steadily revealing truth through carefully ordered movements across time. It is sincere. It is earnest. And, reading it now, it is unmistakably tired in the way only something carrying too much weight can be.

I was young, deeply invested, and convinced that faith could still be considered whole if only it were properly understood. I believed that beneath the noise of dogma, fear, and institutional rigidity there existed a coherent story capable of holding together love, law, suffering, history, and hope. What mattered most to me then was not persuading others, but persuading myself that belief itself had not already compromised love. persuading myself that belief itself had not already compromised love.

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